Saturday, October 9, 2010

Getting in touch with feelings - a Cheat Sheet

Many recovering addicts struggle with identifying their emotions.  By the time an addict enters recovery, emotions have been squashed, ignored, and stuffed.  Why?  Because for most addicts, emotions are one of the reasons why they began using in the first place - feeling emotions hurt.  It's uncomfortable.  And if I can find a way to circumnavigate the law of opposition, I will.  I don't want to taste the bitter that I might know the sweet.  I don't want to feel sadness so that I might know happiness.  I just want the happiness and sweet all the time!

Remember that recovery from addiction - any addiction - is a spiritual process.  Reconnecting to our emotional states is a neccessary step to take.  How can I work through the process of repentance if I can't feel my emotions?

A common response to this discussion is for the addict to say - "I don't know what I feel any more."  The following is a cheat sheet to help you discover what you might be feeling.  By identifying your behavior, simply follow the chart and it will lead you to your emotion.  This will help you start to connect to your feelings. 

                                                      State of                                   Emotional
Behaviors                                     Being                                      Denial

Resentments, People Pleasing             disconnectedness                    Anger
Risk Taking                                         impulsiveness                          Fear
Lack of Empathy for Self                     numbness                                Pain/Sadness
Lack of Taking Ownership for Life      self-pity                                   Joy/Gratitude
Isolation OR Thrill Seeking                  boredom                                  Passion
Isolation OR Dependency                   loneliness                                 Love
Judging, Critical, Fault Finding             perfectionism                           Guilt, Vulnerability
Arrogant, Self Serving                         grandiose                                 Shame

1 comment:

  1. Yes.It's true, emotions are the one that starts them to go on addiction, that is why when acquiring recovery companion services, dealing with patient's emotion is an important part.

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